Motherhood + Time = Comedy

I've been doing a lot of reading lately. My girlfriend, Bri, and I have our very own bookclub. We each buy a book, read it, fall in love, and then jet to the post office to share it with our bestie on the otherside of the country. Yes, my book club buddy lives in Tennessee. But, so far it is working. And I love to send off a fabulous book with a great note of "love love love this. Finally another woman who gets it and isn't afraid to be honest about life."
So far, we've mostly been reading books about being a real woman. Not the woman with perfect hair and legs, walking around town with full make up, high heals, and a coffee in hand. We're talking about the mom that runs out of the house in the morning just thankful to have made it to 8am. Because let's be honest, that's most of us moms, or women for that matter. I have quickly come to realize that the balancing act that I mantained in college need not apply to life as a wife, mother, and woman. Notice how I end up being last in the equation. Nevermind my volunteer committments to my sorority, my job, family, and friends (that I don't see nearly as often as I would prefer).
Right now, I'm just over half way through Brooke Burke's "The Naked Mom" While I'm not sure why she needs to naked on the cover, I do appreciate her honest humor. Motherhood is pretty comeical. There have been many days where I leave the house in an outfit that is bizarre, no makeup, after just a few blocks of 2 hours of sleep through the night. At some point, you need to either laugh or cry. And sometimes, Emery leaves the house in something that doesn't fit, is stained, and her hair is a tangled mess. And to be honest, sometimes I say "daddy dressed her," when in fact, it was me.
I've said it before... I'm just trying to make it through the day. I'm spread too thin, with a husband that travels too much. When he is gone, I do dishes once a week, and will eat my sandwich dinner off a napkin to avoid the dish. I'd rather read books to Emery, than wash another damn plate. I'd rather stare at a wall than wash another pot. I've often had this ideal of a house that is clutter free, with homecooked meals on the table each night. Well, our house is too small to avoid clutter, and we don't actually have a dinning room table. But, we do our best to have a meal on the ottoman trays most of the time.
So, let's just talk about last night.... Emery was up most of the previous night with a fever. And, if you know our story, you know that a fever sends me into a panic because of her previous fever induced seizure. Plus, a good friend's daughter had one recently, bringing back up a lot of emotions... So, I was already exhausted yesterday... We had a lovely homecooked dinner and made it to bed about 9pm. I say we, because Emery refuses to sleep in her own bed, or my bed, without me by her side. She cries, says "Sleep mommy bed, mommy, sleep together!" So, because I'm actually pretty tired, and even more too tired to fight with her, off we go. Within 20 minutes, success, we are both snoring. 11:30 rolls around and I'm woken up by Emery sobbing. Not just crying, but sitting up in bed sobbing. Her diaper is dry, I'm in bed with her, and she doesn't have a fever... what the heck is wrong?
She has had problems with night terrors and more recently "scary night night." So I thought that was it. But, my poor girl was so upset she couldn't communicate what she wanted, didn't want, or anything else. Emery is pretty chatty and can community with sentances... so I've grown acustomed to her telling us what she wants to eat, watch, play, etc. Throw this in with how tired I am and I am at a frustrated loss. I tried milk, juice, cuddling, blankey, baby doll, nothing worked. But, eventually, she just layed down and was out again. However, on my run to go get juice, or the blankey (not sure which...), the doggies decided they were awake and wanted to play. My two 70 pound dogs planted themselves through every inch of my walk way with their tails wagging. So here I am, trying to figure out what is wrong with my child after being woken out of a deadsleep, she is WAILING and I have two doggs looking for a play date. Needless to say, they were sent to the backyard to potty or play, which ever they prefered.
We had a few more crying-floppy fish moments through the night before waking up to a request for snuggle time. Now, after a cup of coffee and sufficent mind-numing surfing of my favorite celebrity gossip sites, I can almost laugh about this. I guess I'm just doing the song and dance of motherhood. I hope I'm not the only one out there just trying to figure it out as I go along, knowing that as long as I know I love my child and am doing my best, we'll all be ok...

xoxo,
C.