Thursday, May 19, 2011

Motherhood + Time = Comedy

I've been doing a lot of reading lately. My girlfriend, Bri, and I have our very own bookclub. We each buy a book, read it, fall in love, and then jet to the post office to share it with our bestie on the otherside of the country. Yes, my book club buddy lives in Tennessee. But, so far it is working. And I love to send off a fabulous book with a great note of "love love love this. Finally another woman who gets it and isn't afraid to be honest about life."
So far, we've mostly been reading books about being a real woman. Not the woman with perfect hair and legs, walking around town with full make up, high heals, and a coffee in hand. We're talking about the mom that runs out of the house in the morning just thankful to have made it to 8am. Because let's be honest, that's most of us moms, or women for that matter. I have quickly come to realize that the balancing act that I mantained in college need not apply to life as a wife, mother, and woman. Notice how I end up being last in the equation. Nevermind my volunteer committments to my sorority, my job, family, and friends (that I don't see nearly as often as I would prefer).
Right now, I'm just over half way through Brooke Burke's "The Naked Mom" While I'm not sure why she needs to naked on the cover, I do appreciate her honest humor. Motherhood is pretty comeical. There have been many days where I leave the house in an outfit that is bizarre, no makeup, after just a few blocks of 2 hours of sleep through the night. At some point, you need to either laugh or cry. And sometimes, Emery leaves the house in something that doesn't fit, is stained, and her hair is a tangled mess. And to be honest, sometimes I say "daddy dressed her," when in fact, it was me.
I've said it before... I'm just trying to make it through the day. I'm spread too thin, with a husband that travels too much. When he is gone, I do dishes once a week, and will eat my sandwich dinner off a napkin to avoid the dish. I'd rather read books to Emery, than wash another damn plate. I'd rather stare at a wall than wash another pot. I've often had this ideal of a house that is clutter free, with homecooked meals on the table each night. Well, our house is too small to avoid clutter, and we don't actually have a dinning room table. But, we do our best to have a meal on the ottoman trays most of the time.
So, let's just talk about last night.... Emery was up most of the previous night with a fever. And, if you know our story, you know that a fever sends me into a panic because of her previous fever induced seizure. Plus, a good friend's daughter had one recently, bringing back up a lot of emotions... So, I was already exhausted yesterday... We had a lovely homecooked dinner and made it to bed about 9pm. I say we, because Emery refuses to sleep in her own bed, or my bed, without me by her side. She cries, says "Sleep mommy bed, mommy, sleep together!" So, because I'm actually pretty tired, and even more too tired to fight with her, off we go. Within 20 minutes, success, we are both snoring. 11:30 rolls around and I'm woken up by Emery sobbing. Not just crying, but sitting up in bed sobbing. Her diaper is dry, I'm in bed with her, and she doesn't have a fever... what the heck is wrong?
She has had problems with night terrors and more recently "scary night night." So I thought that was it. But, my poor girl was so upset she couldn't communicate what she wanted, didn't want, or anything else. Emery is pretty chatty and can community with sentances... so I've grown acustomed to her telling us what she wants to eat, watch, play, etc. Throw this in with how tired I am and I am at a frustrated loss. I tried milk, juice, cuddling, blankey, baby doll, nothing worked. But, eventually, she just layed down and was out again. However, on my run to go get juice, or the blankey (not sure which...), the doggies decided they were awake and wanted to play. My two 70 pound dogs planted themselves through every inch of my walk way with their tails wagging. So here I am, trying to figure out what is wrong with my child after being woken out of a deadsleep, she is WAILING and I have two doggs looking for a play date. Needless to say, they were sent to the backyard to potty or play, which ever they prefered.
We had a few more crying-floppy fish moments through the night before waking up to a request for snuggle time. Now, after a cup of coffee and sufficent mind-numing surfing of my favorite celebrity gossip sites, I can almost laugh about this. I guess I'm just doing the song and dance of motherhood. I hope I'm not the only one out there just trying to figure it out as I go along, knowing that as long as I know I love my child and am doing my best, we'll all be ok...


Friday, May 6, 2011

My third mother's day.

Even writing that this is my 3rd mother's day makes me a little sad. I can not believe that Miss Emery is passed her 2nd birthday. So many milestones have happened and I can't seem to keep up with recording them in my brain to savor each moment. "They" weren't kidding when they said that life goes by so quickly and you really need to enjoy each moment.
As we prepare to move to Colorado, I find myself realizing how truly blessed we are to have the friends and family that we do. Our support system here could never be matched. We've been able to surround ourselves with friends that accept us for who we are as a couple and as individuals. And those that love Miss Emery. She has so many "aunts" and "uncles" that will always be apart of her life. And, my family... They are lifesavers. Without any hesitation my family will come in and help pick up whatever pieces have fallen that day. The idea of leaving them will never get easier, and I will never be ok with being away from them. But, I know that they will support me no matter what, because that is what families do.
While mother's day is a day to celebrate the mother's around the world. I want to make sure to celebrate not just my own mother and grandmother, but the mother's and women in my life that I adore.

So first a few pictures of the past 2 years to celebrate the mother's and women of my family!

On a Disneyland visit, my cousin Cami and Jacob.

Emery and my grandma at the 2009 Buyou Festival. Emery spent the whole day snuggled in my grandma's arms. I'm not sure who loved it more.

Easter 2010 at the Elks Lodge with Nana

Mother's Day 2010: Grandma, Emery, Mom and I. The "odair" ladies. The 3 most important females in my world.

and finally, my sister and Emery's Auntie Jenny. The best aunties in the world to my girl. She is so lucky.

Plus, I'd like to share a few mommy blogs that I love to follow. I appreicate each of these women's humor and passion for motherhood. Eachtime I read a new post it helps me realize that I'm not the only OCD mommy out there that has bad days. One of these mom's I actually know, the others I do not. But, the help me to laugh out loud about the crazy things that kids do and say...

Ground Swell: A lovely blog sharing the challenges of international adoption, adding in christian inspirations, and all about family love.

Stone Chic: Brooke is a sorority sister of mine. While we were not in college, or the collegiate chapter together, I truly adore her. She is a strong, beautiful, confident women that has the most adorable son. I love her "tell-it-like-it-is" attitude.

And finally, probably the blog I love the most because it truly makes me laugh out loud everyday... Rage Against the Minivan: Love this moms practical and honest approach her sharing her international adoption stories. She's just a mom to 4 adorable children, sharing her daily challenges, things that make you think, laugh, and shed a tear every once and a while. I'm so thankful to my bff, Kacie, for sharing this with me.


I'm not sure anyone actually read my blog on a regular basis. I love the opportunity to share our daily stories with those we love that are far away. It is my own personal place to journal my feelings on motherhood, friendship, service to others, or whatever else pops up in our lives. But, I feel about my blog like I did about my journal in 7th grade. I love the idea of having these memories 10 years down the road, but I'm so busy having fun and living life, I often neglect it. Plus, that journal from 7th grade is pretty cheesy and...VERY 7th grade girl. Almost painful to re-read... But, since we are moving soon, I need to prioritize blogging for my friends and family... but mostly for me and Emery. I need a place to express myself. If someone reads it, lovely. If they feel so inclined to share a comment, great. But, if not, then that is ok too....

Happy Mother's Day to all the women in my life! I'm so thankful to be surrounded by so many powerful, smart, and classy ladies.