Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Somthing else I love...

One of the best parts... maybe one of the only best parts about our move is the fact that we should be buying our first home next summer in Denver!  I've been wanting our own home for fact, we've been "on the hunt," for the right home since I was pregnant with Emery.  Nothing ever seemed right, or came together... maybe it was for the best since we would now be stuck in the terrible position of having to sell our home to move.
And with the purchase of a new home comes the opportunity to DECORATE our new home.  I've been excited about this for...forever!  I know I want bright colors, yellow, blue, green!  I want it to feel like spring time all the time, even when we are snowed in.  And, in one of my many mommy-blog/etsy hoping adventures I stumbled on Barn Owl Primitives.  She makes these fabulous wooden, hand painted signs that have lovely and clever sayings on them.
Right now she is doing a huge giveaway with another blog Little Miss Momma.  I don't usually get much into blog entries and giveaways, but I seriously could not help myself this time.  Her signs are amazing, but also a bit pricey.  I'd love a huge one, to put above my future fire place.  Maybe I'll get that for christmas or something.
In the meantime, I'm entering this fabulous giveaway and mentioning it on my blog.  Plus, I love cute things... and my friends love cute things.  So take a look at her shop... You're welcome to send one my way.. belated bday gift... anyone...anyone?  Bueller?  And christmas is right around the corner.... (thats a shout out to you, mom).

love love love it!  so fun and fabulous!


Tuesday, August 23, 2011

19 days....

I've given myself a few days to process this amazing weekend that just passed.... Now, there are only 3 weekends left before we hit the road to Colorado.  I am on a mission to soak up every moment, with every loved one, and stock up on love before we go.  I wish I could put the kind of love I got this weekend in some mason jars and take it with me.  That way when one of "those" days creeps up on me and I'm begging to come home, I can just open one up and take a sip.
I fight the tears pretty regularly now.  We're getting to the last few everything... Next Thursday is Emery's last day with her Auntie Jenny...I just realized that this morning... then cried myself to work.  This weekend is our last full weekend in our house.  The house where our daughter was born...
We planned our last big family dinner with my family.  We making final arrangements to see our best  friends.  The walls are bare, because we've finally packed our pictures...
This chapter of the story of our lives is ending.  To be honest, I kinda always thought we'd stay here.  I'd raise my daugther minutes from my parents and she would go seemlessly between the two homes, as I had done as a little girl.
But, this weekend, we were able to spend a few hours with those we love most in the world.  We rented a bounce house (making me the coolest mom ever), bbq'd, and laughed with those we love.  Emery ran around like a crazy lil monster for over 8 hours, laughing, playing, and bouncing with her cousins.  She gave her love to everyone.  It was heartbreaking to see how much love she has in her life.  How do you tell a 2 year old that you are moving them away from their whole world?  Well, we haven't.  I don't know how to.  Maybe  because I'm not entirely ready to face it myself.
Tonight, we test skype out with Auntie Jenny.  Thank god for skype.  Emery will be able to see everyone and never forget their faces... She'll laugh, she'll give kisses... she'll always be able to remember how much everyone in california loves her.
I am so thankful for our friends and family here.  I am so thankful for the endless love that has been given to our girl and to us.  I am so thankful for the support we have received in making the toughest decision of our lives.  But, it is because we have all of this, that it makes it so much harder to say goodbye.

19 days....


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Motherhood highs and lows...

I think any mother of a two year old knows that there are highs and lows to motherhood.  I've had a lot recently and I thought I'd share....

high: Emery rolling over in bed last night, throwing her arms around me and giving me a big kiss.  I didn't ask for this kiss, nor did I ask for the "I love you mommy, night night" I got afterwards.  blissful
low: Emery throwing herself on the ground at her babysitters because GASP I left the teddy bear she insisted I take with ME to work in the car.  He was alone, that was apparently a chargable offense.

high: Watching Emery and Madison ride Papa like a horsey all over the house last night. (see crappy phone shot below)
low: Getting peed on a week ago by my potty training child

high: Seeing Emery go back for a second good night hug and kissey with her great grandma
low: knowing that in just a few weeks I'm seperating the two of them... they are kindred spirits, I swear

high: panties.  why? because they are cheaper than diapers!
low: poop accidents in panties.  pretty sure that needs no further explanation.

Motherhood is a rollercoaster of emotions.  Just when I'm at my wits-end, I get a huge hug.  Just when I am bragging that I have the perfect child, she throws herself on the ground and screams at me.  But, I know she acts with such strong emotions because she is my child.  She shares her emotions big, like I do.  She has strong OCD rooted opinions about how her world should be, like I do.  She loves big, she fights big, like I do.  And, I hope we always fight this big.  You fight big because you care big.  And, to say that I love this child is like saying that I like oxygen.  I need her with every ounce of my being.  She brings me to life and keeps me going.  Then, she screams and poops and brings me back down to reality.

Hello blogger friends, please meet Papa the horse.  He minds very well...

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Finding control in the chaos of my life...

As you know, we are moving to Colorado next month.  On friday we will be on our one month countdown... to doomsday....I mean, to our new adventure.  To say that I am overwhelmed by this move is truly an understatement.  I have about 5 to do lists going, mental notes, mental timelines of when to get things done, piles of garage sale items all over my house, a ton of already packed boxes, and the rest of the space in my home, heart and head are filled with anxiety.
I happen to be anxiety prone.  I dwell.  I over analyze.  I lose sleep over it.  I blame my grandmother.  She is the queen of a good dwell and panic attack.  This type of overhaul of my life is sending over the crazy edge.  I panic about leaving a job to move to a place with no job.  I panic about moving and leaving my entire world.  I panic about our finances and how we can live about a month before I need to freak out.  It's terrible, but I panic about being home with Emery everyday, because we can afford to put her in daycare until I get a job.  Is it wrong about panicing about being your childs caregiver, full time?  Maybe.  But, I do it anyway.
I'm actually getting anxiety that I am writing this all out... and how crazy it makes me sound...
So, listen here world... I'm on a mission to take back some control!  My to-do lists are being consolidated and prioritized... I sent Jason on a mission to buy giant boxes yesterday, I made yard sale signs (because I am so excited to get some of this crap out of my house), and I ordered our "we've moved," cards for our friends and family.  We have a new address, so why not?  And it is checking something off that damn giant to do list!
And then, this weekend I am going to go to St. Louis for a girls weekend, my birthday, and to celebrate Kelly and Paul's wedding!  And I'm going to take at least one moment to have a giant celebratory cocktail, take a breath, and pray that it will work itself out.

And because we just got new family photos and I am shameless in sharing how cute they are....

Please check out  She was so wonderful and really reasonably priced!