Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Finding control in the chaos of my life...

As you know, we are moving to Colorado next month.  On friday we will be on our one month countdown... to doomsday....I mean, to our new adventure.  To say that I am overwhelmed by this move is truly an understatement.  I have about 5 to do lists going, mental notes, mental timelines of when to get things done, piles of garage sale items all over my house, a ton of already packed boxes, and the rest of the space in my home, heart and head are filled with anxiety.
I happen to be anxiety prone.  I dwell.  I over analyze.  I lose sleep over it.  I blame my grandmother.  She is the queen of a good dwell and panic attack.  This type of overhaul of my life is sending over the crazy edge.  I panic about leaving a job to move to a place with no job.  I panic about moving and leaving my entire world.  I panic about our finances and how we can live about a month before I need to freak out.  It's terrible, but I panic about being home with Emery everyday, because we can afford to put her in daycare until I get a job.  Is it wrong about panicing about being your childs caregiver, full time?  Maybe.  But, I do it anyway.
I'm actually getting anxiety that I am writing this all out... and how crazy it makes me sound...
So, listen here world... I'm on a mission to take back some control!  My to-do lists are being consolidated and prioritized... I sent Jason on a mission to buy giant boxes yesterday, I made yard sale signs (because I am so excited to get some of this crap out of my house), and I ordered our "we've moved," cards for our friends and family.  We have a new address, so why not?  And it is checking something off that damn giant to do list!
And then, this weekend I am going to go to St. Louis for a girls weekend, my birthday, and to celebrate Kelly and Paul's wedding!  And I'm going to take at least one moment to have a giant celebratory cocktail, take a breath, and pray that it will work itself out.

And because we just got new family photos and I am shameless in sharing how cute they are....

Please check out http://www.sarahhullphotography.com/  She was so wonderful and really reasonably priced!


1 comment:

  1. I know how you feel...going through that myself right now. I left my job and family back in Hawaii to join Josh here in VA with our little one. I'm a full time mom and housewife now, and probably will be for the next couple of years until Sam starts going to school. I'm sure everything will be fine...goodluck to your new adventure.