thoughts on parenting.

I woke up this morning and truly felt the need to comment on parenting. The joy, heartache, stress… the choice of parenting. I use the word “choice” on purpose. You choose this people. Now, you get to figure out how to manage it. I think there are two main ideas about parenting that I’d like to touch on…
1. I have noticed how easy it is for people to comment on parenting, or stages of parenting when they have never experienced it. I would bet that I am guilty of it myself…not only in judging my own mother, but other women around me. However, now that I am a mother, I take offense to it. It is easy to tell me what “I should or should not do” when you have never tried to keep a house, a job, your sanity, all while having the life, happiness and well-being of a tiny human in your hands. I can promise you, anyone that is happy their their CHOICE of being a parent is doing the best we can. Some days it takes all of my energy to get out of bed and get some type of outfit on, so please don’t judge me. I had a friend recently tell me that she was shocked when people could not control their toddler in a restaurant. She is a mother, of a very tiny infant. This is so easy to say when your bundle of joy will sleep through an entire meal in a restaurant without so much as a peep. When she doesn’t need attention or reassurance, or isn’t struggling to get their food on their fork. As the mother of a toddler, I can tell you when they get frustrated sometimes they only understand how to communicate loudly. Have you ever tried to REASON with a toddler? Yes, Emery is rather smart, but negotiation isn’t really one of her strong suits yet. Here’s where good parenting comes in… Jason and I have come to truly enjoy home cooked meals, or take out. Yes, toddlers are going to scream and cry sometimes, but I don’t have to take them to a restaurant. And if we CHOOSE to do so, we have the responsibility to get up from our meal and take her outside. Or leave. I think my main point here is that if you don’t know what it is like to stay up all night, get pooped and peed on…and cry right along with your baby because you are so tired, please don’t judge me. I am doing the best I can. And, in return, I will do my best to keep my child from ruining your meal. I swear.
2. I think the biggest challenge I have faced as a parent is consistancy. It might as well be a 4 letter word. Recently, I found myself telling Emery she can not, under any cirmcumstances put a blankey over her head and walk around growling like a monster. Why? Because she has fallen several times in recent days and hurt herself. However, two weeks ago it was so cute and we all laughed and giggled at her silliness. I might find myself laughing in another two weeks, because let’s be honest, she’s the cutest monster ever. It is so hard to keep consistant on anything: bedtime, eating, saying please, and picking up toys. It is exhuasting spending every moment of your day trying to do the same thing you did the day before to maintain some consistancy. Sometimes it’s just easier to let her go to bed with toys all over the floor. Or to pick them up myself. I struggle with this, maybe more than anything.
Finally, I can tell you that Emery did not come with a manual when she was born. I did not immediately have a clue what I was doing when the doctor handing her to me. I’m figuring it out as I go along. I take when I learned and loved from my family, and adding things I feel are important. Sometimes these things change. As Emery grows and changes and we see her personality, we have to change how we parent. She is sensitive, but willful. She requires endless patience, consistency, and compassion. Jason and I had certainly talked about how we wanted to parent, but there is nothing like figuring it out as you go and based on your child’s needs and your own needs.
I think every mother is asking for a little patience and compassion from those around them. Please don’t judge me, but offer to hold the door open when I’m carrying my toddler, diaper bag, and 10 grocery bags. Understand that yes, I might be crabby, there is a good chance I only slept 3 hours last night, all of which had a heavy toddler kicking me in the face. I love my baby. I know she is my responsibility, not yours. Give me a break. Have a little patience. Know that I am doing the best I can.
xoxo

in the spirit of thankfulness...

I have to say, this fall has been so busy I simply haven't had an opportunity to put enough thoughts together to share an update on our family. I can say that this has probably been the best fall we have ever had as a family. Jason has finally come home! He started an amazing new career that brings him home every night to our family. Having my partner back to share in the daily chores and joys of our live is more amazing than I could have thought. Emery has happier than ever. She loves taking walks with daddy, playing in the yard, bath time... everything seems to be more fun for her these days. And, I have such a signifigant drop in stress in my life with more sleep, less tantrums, yummier dinners... Who knew the effects of getting a new job could be so signifigant?

I have to say, this journey of being without my husband, then raising our daughter alone has not been easy. But, it was made much easier with the help of the most amazing friends and family. I'm so lucky to have a family that loves having me pack up a bag and show up at their door (occasionally unannounced) to stay the evening. Thank you for that Mom, Ed, Grandma, Jennifer, and Madison. I love that Emery and Madison have that time in the evening to laugh, play, and sometimes fight. Seeing my daughter and my niece love eachother so strongly is truly amazing. They have a built in best friend. And,that gives me time to spend with my sister. Who is my sounding board and therapist. We have been through a lifetime of laughter and fights that so reminds me of our girls. I'm so glad that we have eachother, and so do they. Mom, Ed, Grandma...the best baby sitters ever! How could I have kept my sanity without having a place to leave my girl for a few hours here and there. In fact, she often has more fun with you than me. I guess what are grandparents for than to pump you kids full of sugar, let then run around like crazy monsters getting filthy, and then sending them home happy, and exhausted.

In the spirit of fall and thanksgiving... I have to continue in thanking my friends. As really the first one to get married and start a family... I am so thankful for my best friends who have shared in my joy, heartache, and the craziness that is my life. Your support, laughter, friendship and for my DDDs.. your sisterhood. I have to say, I would rather have 5 really amazing friends than 20 kinda friends. I know you have my back and you know I'd do anything for you... like wait overnight in waiting room waiting for you to deliver a baby (thats a shout out to you kacie). I love you! You know who you are!

Finally to my husband. Thank you for putting your family first, always. For making sure I stay sane and that we have such a great lifestyle. For valuing date nights, and my sleep. For making breakfast on the weekend. For taking over bath time. For i love you emails for no reason...and stopping by the office just for a hug. And of course, for giving me the most amazing little girl in the world. She is sassy, smart, and everything I could have ever asked for.

xoxo

And because I could never forget fabulous pictures of the ones I love....

FALLing in love.

Offically, finally... fall is here! I don't have any new pictures to share.. not that we haven't taken any, but that I haven't had time to upload them. We have had an amazing and very busy few weeks.
We camped.
We went to Nashville.
I had Tri Delta recruitment
We went to the river.
Jason got a new job that will bring him HOME!
We spent a lot of time with friends and family and continue to feel more thankful each day. We have surrounded ourselves with amazing people. People who love us and who love our little girl.

We just got back from Nashville this week. I belong in Nashville. Clearly I was born in the wrong part of the country. I love southern values. I love downtown Nashville. I love that there are so many colleges and universities. I love the "berbs" of Nashville. I love that the titans are there...and that makes Jason happy. We had an amazing time with our friends the Klans. Honestly, Emery cried for 2 days after we left. I think she was mourning the city. But, my ENTIRE family is here, so here we stay. For now. I would love to end up there.

our fall is already filling up. BBQs with friends, pumpking patch, Oktoberfest... and a spa day for me! I am just looking forward to fall weather, fall snuggles, and fall fashion!

xoxo,
Crystal

Another summer has ended.

Labor day has come and gone. I have to admit that I love fall weather, fall clothes, and fall snuggles, but I am sad to see summer end. We had an exceptional and busy summer. It was complete with swim lessons, camping, and lots of family time. I think after a very busy spring we did our best to make time for family. It included lots of lazy Sundays and family nights in. I am so thankful for Jason and Emery. After a bad day, Emery kisses can make the world go round again. I am truly blessed with love and laughter in my home.
But, fall is here again, and with it is a hussle and bussle and we slide into the holidays. I am well over half done with my holiday shopping. We made our annual labor day trip to the river with my family. CSULB is back to school, and with it my busy Tri Delta advisory duties are in full swing. Recruitment is this weekend, and the following weekend we are off to TN to visit our very dear friends, the Klahn's. Our fall is already filling up with Mommy & Daddy Oktoberfest with friends, Pumpking Picking, and a BBQ. I am also excited to check wine tasting off my 30 by 30 list when we go to Nashville. What else will I be able to check off this fall? Any suggestions?

I have shared below our most updated family photo. We intended to have photos of Emery and my niece, Madison, taken for Grandparents day. But, we decided to take a few family shots as well. They were taken at mother's beach in LB by www.rachellemariephotography.com

xoxo

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Emery and Madison. How cute are their matching Jammies?!


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Emery and I at the OC Fair right after we wont her the Ellllmmmoooo!


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Emery loves her gold/tweed shoe set.

motherhood.

So, today has been a day from hell. In the middle of the night, Jaskson walked into my bedroom and woke me up with the sound of him pooping on my floor. Then, Emery kept me up for an hour at 3am. We started out the morning ok, minus the constant crying immediatly following disapline or scolding. So, we ventured off to target, where Miss Emery cried the whole time begging "up, up up!" She wanted me to pick her up. So, I gave in and did...and only when my arm was about to give out (because Emery is no skinny bones, jones) did I feel a rather warm senssaion on my side... I was getting peed on. She had a diaper on, but it leaked. This was followed by more crying. Even several fellow patrons of Target tried to help out and make silly faces to get my girl to calm down. All to no avail... but was sincerely appreciated.

I think the moral to the story here is that motherhood is harder than any woman admits to. And if we did, then the species would probably die out. Working, keeping a house, and taking care of a baby... nevermind the husband or pets... is more than any woman can truly handle. There simply are not enough hours during the day to get it all done and get an appropriate amount of sleep... so how do I deal? I love to shop. I love shoes and clothes... mostly shoes.

Why shoes? Because no matter how fat you get, they still can make a tshirt and jeans look cute. And they can make you feel good, fabulous, and sexy. So, I got myself some zebra flats yesterday, and no I don't feel guilty about it. Plus, Emery loves shoes, so it's almost like I bought her a new toy too. So there.

I love my baby. And if buying shoes and accessories helps be a better mother, then fine. I'll give into the universe and buy fabulous accessories.

xoxo

26, on my way to LATE TWENTIES!

So, last week marked my 26th birthday. I was lucky enough to celebrate with some of my best friends. I am so thankful for the friends in my life that truly enrich my soul. However, since I am officially on my way to late twenties, and as I told a friend of mine, on my way to "mom jeans" I wanted to write a list of thigns to do by the time I am 30. 30 by 30, a bucket list of sorts of things to do by the big 3-0. I have friends that have done it, or something like it and it just really sounded fun. So, in the interest of full disclosure here's my list. I think it has a wonderful blend of adventure, travel, family fun, and doing things I've always wanted to do. Let me know your thoughts!

30 by 30
1. Find a fabulous pair of Green Shoes
2. Europe with Jason
3. Own a home
4. Go camping on the beach
5. Host a dinner party
6. Weekend in Vegas with no kids
7. Find the perfect Little Black Dress
8. Write Emery a family history: with stories and family tree
9. Take a dance class (not at the gym, a real dance class)
10. Go on a hot air balloon ride
11. Hold a snake (in the interest of conquering my fear)
12. Get a second tattoo
13. Have an “in the moment” non-studio photo session with my family
14. Sing on stage (karaoke counts)
15. Make something from scratch (food)
16. Get back to my college weight
17. Begin my Master’s Degree
18. Run, not walk a 5K
19. Watch my favorite movies on the same day: Dirty Dancing, Grease, A Walk To Remember, and Marley and Me.
20. Host a holiday dinner
21. Take a walk in the rain
22. Observe Lent as a non-catholic
23. Take a jumping picture, just for fun.
24. Write more letters to friends, not emails.
25. Go wine tasting
26. Take a scuba lesson
27. Share a kiss under the Eiffel tower
28. Be debt free for at least 1 month (not including a MORTGAGE)
29. Get a passport
30. Take my grandma dotzie’s ashes back to Wyoming!